


Don't Stare at the Reflection, Change it

by JasicoWhatHaveYouDoneToMe



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Marriage, Parenthood, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23314159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasicoWhatHaveYouDoneToMe/pseuds/JasicoWhatHaveYouDoneToMe
Summary: Raising someone’s else’s kid wasn’t how Richie pictured his forties. And yet, he found that he couldn’t really complain. He was with the person he loved and the kid, the kid was pretty fuckin’ cute, alright?
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	1. Noah

Raising someone’s else’s kid wasn’t how Richie pictured his forties. And yet, he found that he couldn’t really complain. He was with the person he loved and the kid, the kid was pretty fuckin’ cute, alright?

His life was pretty much a mess before anyway. He was a mediocre comedian who didn’t write his own jokes, he had an alcohol problem (addiction really) and he was  _ deep, deep  _ in the closet. Yeah, life wasn’t really going so  _ swell  _ before Mike had called. And it didn’t get much better after. 

He was tortured and almost killed by a demon clown from space after all. He was caught in the deadlights. Eddie’s blood rained down on him and he was forced to watch his limp body be thrown around as the clown laughed maniacally. His friends had begged him to come with them,  _ to leave Eddie behind, _ but he wouldn’t be moved. If they weren’t going to help carry Eddie out then, fuck it, he was going to die down there too. 

Thankfully, Ben yanked Eddie up and threw him over his shoulder. This got Richie moving again. They all barely made it out before the house collapsed in. Ben layed Eddie down on the sidewalk as Bill called 911. Richie doesn’t really remember much after that, he just knows there was a lot of screaming and that it had been coming from him. 

Eddie barely made it. The doctors weren’t sure he would live, but somehow he pulled through. He was a tough fucker, that’s for sure. Eddie was in the hospital for several months and Richie never left his side. The other loser eventually had to get back to their lives and checked in on Eddie as often as they could, but Richie never left. After what happened down in the sewers, Richie wasn’t sure if he could physically be away from Eddie without hurting. 

Things were going great at the hospital until Myra Kaspbrak showed up. Richie should have known this would happen, she was his wife after all. She immediately started smothering him and it made Richie sick. It was like seeing Sonia Kaspbrak come back from the dead to make her son feel small and frail all over again. 

Richie would have felt better about it if Eddie looked like he was happy that his wife was there to nurture him back to health. Instead, he looked miserable. So Richie would skirt around the two and do his best to bite his tongue. After all, this was Eddie’s wife. He was just a long lost friend. He didn’t really have the place to say anything. He just felt lucky that Eddie was letting him stick around the hospital for so long and not kicking him out, like Myra clearly wanted to. 

It all came to a head one day while Richie was in the cafeteria getting Eddie jello. Apparently, Eddie had asked for a divorce, because as Richie reentered the hospital room, Myra was screaming, “Who is it? Who, Edward?!”

Eddie made brief eye contact Richie and sighed. “There’s no one Myra. I just don’t want to be married to you anymore.”

“Fuck.” Richie choked. “I’m just gonna be outside.” He went to turn around and exit when Myra said the words that would change Eddie’s and subsequently Richie’s life forever.

“Eddie, you can’t leave. I’m pregnant! Would you really leave me and your child?”

Naturally, Richie thought she was lying, but as it turns out, the bitch actually  _ was  _ pregnant with Eddie’s kid. The divorce was pretty rocky, especially with the baby on the way. In the end, Myra got the apartment, the car Eddie had wrecked during his conversation with Mike and the majority of the time with their child. Eddie on the other hand, got Richie. Or at least that’s how he puts it. 

The two ended up getting an apartment 10 minutes away from Eddie’s old apartment. That way they would always be close enough to Eddie’s kid no matter what.

Noah Stanley Kaspbrak was born on August 15th, 6 pounds, 7 ounces. A surprisingly small baby for such a large woman. Eddie was only able to see Noah on the weekends, but every moment with him was a blessing for Eddie. He was the one good thing that came from that marriage is what Eddie had said. 

When Noah was two, Richie and Eddie got married. Myra had filed to get Eddie’s time taken away after that. The court ruled against it, but ever since any form of kindness towards Myra was over. 

“Poppy? Can I have a ‘nana?” Noah cocked his head and held out his hand expectantly. A grin overtook Richie’s face. This kid really was the spitting image of Eddie. Same button like nose, same big doe eye and same chestnut hair. 

“Another one?” Richie gasped. “You want another banana? Where did the last one go?”

Noah giggled, “In my tummy, Poppy!”

Richie reached out and tickled at the boy’s stomach. “In your tummy, huh? And there’s room for another one?”

Noah reached out and clutched at Richie’s hands, trying to stop him from being tickled. “Uh huh! Another ‘nana!”

Richie chuckled, cutting up four more slices of banana and placing them on Noah’s high chair. Noah immediately dug in and started stuffing a slice into his mouth. He had always been a good eater and was the only three year old that Richie had heard of that wasn’t picky. This kid would eat just about anything you put down in front of him. Richie found this to be a good quality, but Eddie worried about how it could affect him later in life. Right now the two husbands were working on teaching Noah to know when he was full. 

When he saw that the slices were gone, Richie asked,“How do you feel, bud? Are you full or do you need some more?” 

Noah pursed his lips as if in deep thought. It was a look that Richie has often seen cross Eddie’s face. “I’m full! No more.” Noah declared.

“Okay!” Richie said, pulling the boy out of the high chair and placing him on his hip. “Lunch is over and we’re feeling full. Good job, buddy. Now you know what time it is?”

Noah jutted out his lip and crossed his arms. “No nap.” Noah had always hated naps, but then what kid didn’t? It’s when you become an adult that you really wish you could take them all the time. 

“Yes, nap. Now do you need to go potty?” Another thing they were working on: potty training. Something that Myra was actively working against. She claimed that Noah would let her know when he was ready to be potty trained and that he hadn’t yet. Which is a load of bullshit, if you ask Richie. Whenever Eddie goes to pick up Noah, he’s always in a diaper and Noah always requests pull ups as soon as they walk through the front door. Noah is very excited at the thought of being a “big boy.”

“I don’t need the potty, Poppy.”

Richie brought the boy to the bathroom anyway. “Well, why don’t we try just in case? Can you show me how much of a big boy you are?”

At that, Noah beamed and wiggled off of Richie’s hip. “Yes! I’m a big boy. Watch!” And surprise, surprise, he did end up needing to go to the bathroom. Afterwards, Richie helped pull the kid’s pants back up and took him into the nursery.

Normally, nap time is like, Richie’s thing. Eddie is at work during the day, so Richie was the one to create the nap time routine. They would start out in the rocking chair and Richie would read a book of Noah’s choice. He would do silly voices and Noah would giggle at the way his Poppy brought the characters to life. Then he would lay the kid down in his crib and tuck him in all nice and snug. Noah would remind Richie that he would need to give him and his stuffed rabbit, Bonkers, a kiss goodnight. And then the two would proceed to argue over who loved Bonkers more, before Richie would leave him to his hour nap. 

That is how things normally went down. Today was different. In fact, Noah had been acting a little out of the ordinary since he was picked up yesterday evening. He hadn’t wanted to sleep in his crib, which was a first. Richie and Eddie had thought that it might have something to do with Noah wanting to be a big boy, so they had started discussing what kind of big boy bed to get him. Personally, Richie wanted to get him a racecar bed. 

As soon as they stepped into the nursery, Noah stiffened up against him. Richie looked down and saw his lip quivering and his eyes wide in fright. He was starting to believe this whole, “no crib” thing was about a lot more than just becoming a big boy. 

Richie patted the back of Noah’s head lovingly. “What’s wrong bubba? Don’t you want to listen to Poppy tell a silly story?”

Noah bit his lip and buried his face in Richie’s chest. The man’s heart ached and he brought the child closer to his chest. He set the two of them down on the rocking chair. “Noah, buddy, you know Poppy loves you, right?”

“Uh huh,” Noah said into Richie’s shirt. “‘Nd I love you, Poppy.” 

_ See? This kid was fucking precious. _

Richie rubbed the boy’s back. “Daddy loves you too, bud. We love you so much and we want to help you grow up into a healthy little boy.”

“Big boy.” Noah corrected with his index finger in his mouth.

Richie pulled his hand away from his mouth, “Sorry. A healthy big boy. That’s why you have to take a nap, bud. You need some rest so that you can be healthy and strong and not grumpy later.” Richie tapered off into an Oscar the grouch impression at the end, trying to get a smile out of the kid. No such luck. A tear dropped down the boy’s face. Richie wiped it away and kissed his cheek. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Noah. I’ll be right here when you wake up, like always.” Richie lifted the toddler up and walked over to the crib, placing him down slowly. 

Noah reached for Bonkers who was already laying in the crib and gripped him tightly. “You come back?” Noah sniffed and shivered as he spoke.

“Buddy, I’m alway here when you wake up. I promise, I won’t leave you in here.” Richie kissed the boy on his forehead and rubbed his arms to stop the shivering. 

“Mommy does.” The boy whispers.

A chill ran through the man’s body. “What?”

Tears started pouring from the toddler’s eye. “Mommy leaves No-wah i-in-in.” He choked. Sobs were starting to wrack the boy’s body. Richie scoops him up and hold him tight. 

“What do you mean, bubba? Does she leave Noah in the crib too long after you’ve woken up?” Richie could see this happening. Eddie said that she was really into Soap Operas and would often ignore the world around here when one was one. It was possible that she had let time get away from her while Noah was napping and was upset to find himself alone when he woke up. 

Noah shook his head. “No-wah can’t leave crib. No-wah has to stay in.” He was hit with another sob-like coughing fit. “All times. No out! Always in!”

And Richie didn’t know what to say. If he understands what Noah is saying, Myra keeps him in the crib all day long? What, like a fucking animal? 

_ This is insane, there’s no way. This… this must be some sort of misunderstanding.  _

And yet, Noah was so incredibly upset. Noah was a smart boy and though he didn’t talk a lot, when he spoke, he made sense. The kid didn’t do much baby talk. 

Richie shushed and held the boy close. He sang silly songs and danced around the room like a nut-job, until Noah had seemed to calm down. Richie suggested that they both take a nap together in Poppy and Daddy’s bed. Noah had offered a hum in response to that and Richie had taken it as a yes. 

Crying can really take it all out of someone, because Noah was asleep in minutes. Not long after, Richie’s phone started buzzing. It was Eddie.

“Hey.” He whispered into the phone. 

“Hey, is it nap time?”

“Yeah,” Richie answered, running his hand through the boy’s hair. 

“After the fight to go to sleep last night, I bet he’s going to sleep really soundly.”

Richie worried his lip between his teeth. “Yeah, about that. I think we may have a problem.” 


	2. Myra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Myra ruffled her son’s hair and picked him up. “Hello bug! Did you have fun with your dad and Mr. Richard?”
> 
> What a fucking bitch. Richie bit down on his tongue even harder. The last thing he needs to do is say something that would put Eddie’s custody in jeopardy. 
> 
> Noah wrinkled his little nose up. “It’s Poppy, Mommy.”
> 
> Atta boy. 

Eddie came home a few hours later. Noah and Richie were in the living room, playing with some of his toy trucks. Noah was in the middle of making the loudest siren noise for his fire truck when he heard the front door open. Noah immediately dropped his truck and ran to the door.

“Daddy!” He squealed and jumped into Eddie’s arms. 

Eddie sets down his briefcase and hugs his son tight. “Hey Buddy! How was your day with Poppy?”

Richie started picking up all of the toddlers toys and he started to ramble on about his day. “Poppy and I playing trucks! I wa’ the firetruck an’ he was the purple car. An’ an’ he was driving fast.”

Noah wasn’t very vocal, but sometimes when he was in a certain mood, he could just ramble on. It was really like looking at a baby Eddie. “And! Me and Poppy took a nap together! Noah cheered.

Eddie glanced at Richie and Richie shrugged. Neither one of them really knew how to go about this, but they needed to talk to Noah when he wasn’t upset about the crib situation. Apparently, Eddie had deemed now a good time. 

Eddie carried Noah over to the couch and sat him down on his lap. Richie came up beside the two and made himself comfortable on the couch. 

“Noah, I’ve got to ask you a question so I need you to pay close attention, okay?” Eddie said, trying to make eye contact with the easily distracted toddler. 

Noah looked up at him with his big doe eye and his thumb in his mouth. “Okay, Daddy.”

Richie reached over and pulled his hand out of his mouth. He was really trying to break him of that habit because he knew that having spit all over his son’s hands grossed Eddie out. 

Eddie gave Richie a brief smile. “When you’re at Mommy’s house, where do you sleep?”

Noah frowned, “Crib.” 

“And where do you eat? Do you eat in a high chair?”

Noah shook his head. “No. Crib.”

Richie could feel the nervous energy rolling off of the baby, but Eddie pressed on. “Honey, do you get to leave the crib at all?” 

“No, Daddy.” 

And that had been the nail on the coffin.

When Sunday rolled around, Eddie, Richie and Noah were all walking over to Myra’s. Noah was trying to jump over every crack on the sidewalk while he held tight onto his dad’s hand.

“So here’s the plan. I’m going to talk to Myra and you’re going to take Noah back to his room.” Eddie spoke clearly, like he was already ready for a fight which no doubt would happen. 

“Your plan seems contingent on Myra actually allowing me in.” Richie elbowed his husband. “Which we both know never happens. She thinks I’m disgusting.”

Eddie grit his teeth together. “Well I don’t really give a shit, that’s what’s happening.”

“Aye aye, Captain!”

When they reached the door, Eddie ignored the doorbell and chose to instead pound on the door, like he was picturing his ex-wife’s face. 

Myra yanked the door open, “Edward please! You’re going to upset the whole building.”

Noah let go of his dad’s hand and went to hug at Myra’s legs. “Hi Mommy.”

This seemed to melt away any anger on her face. She ruffled her son’s hair and picked him up. “Hello bug! Did you have fun with your dad and Mr. Richard?”

_ What a fucking bitch.  _ Richie bit down on his tongue even harder. The last thing he needs to do is say something that would put Eddie’s custody in jeopardy. 

Noah wrinkled his little nose up. “It’s Poppy, Mommy.”

_ Atta boy.  _

Eddie cut in before Myra could say any more stupid shit. “Hey Noah, why don’t you show Poppy your room? Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Noah beamed at the idea. “Yes!” He wiggled down and of his mother’s grasp. “Com’on Poppy!” He grabbed Richie’s hand and took him down the nearest hallway. 

When the two entered the light pale blue room, Richie noticed that the boy stayed as far away from the dreaded crib in the corner. Instead, he went to the small toy chest near the window. He pulled out two stuffed animals, a bear and sloth, and three big cars from the  _ Cars  _ franchise. He held out the red on to Richie. “This is Lighning, Poppy.”

“That’s really nice, buddy. He looks really cool.”

The toddler continued to show Richie random toys in his room, but he was mostly distracted by the not so quiet argument that was happening in the front room of the house.

“Honestly, Edward. You cannot have Noah calling him that. You’re going to give him a complex.”

And that? That hurt. Richie knew he wasn’t Noah’s dad, but he was married to his dad. He was still a really big part of Noah’s life. He loved being his Poppy. 

“Complex?” Eddie gave an indignant cry. Richie could just picture the absolute outrage on his face. “Myra- You know, no, he is going to keep calling him Poppy because he is his other dad. But that isn’t what I need to talk to you about.”

“He doesn’t have another dad! It’s just you, Eddie.”

“Myra, for the love of--Fuck! I can’t handle you right now. This isn’t even what I wanted to talk about!”

Richie heard shuffling in the other room. “What  _ did  _ you want to talk about?”

“Are you keeping our son locked up in his crib all day?”

Richie expected a big theatrical response. He expected denial and crocodile tears. “I only started that this week. The apartment can be a dangerous place for a toddler.”

_ I was not expecting that. _

“Then baby proof this damn place! That’s what Richie and I did. You cannot keep him locked up like that. It’s traumatizing him, Myra! He can’t even sleep at our apartment anymore.”

“He’s probably missing his mother.”

“No-uhg, why do you always have to make this about you! This is about Noah and how you’re treating him is--is-- it’s abusive Myra.”

“Abusive? I would never  _ abuse  _ my son. I’m just trying to keep him safe. In what world is that abusive?”

“Don’t talk to me about what is and isn’t abusive.” Eddie choked out.

Richie felt a small hand shaking his arm. He turned to see Noah holding out the sloth doll. Richie took it from him gently. “That’s LooLoo.” Noah said in a hushed voice.

“He’s very soft. Do you sleep with him while you’re here at your mom’s?”

Noah nodded very seriously and turned towards the crib. He slowly pointed at it. “Just for night night?” 

The conversation that Eddie and Richie had with Noah had apparently sunk in. They wanted to make it very clear to the boy that the crib was just meant for sleeping and that he was allowed out when he was awake. Richie nodded and handed Noah back the sloth. “Yeah, bud. It’s just for sleeping in.”

An explosion came from outside the room. Well, not literally, but something was definitely broken out there. It had sounded like glass. 

“It has to stop or I will take you to court about it. You will get your time taken away. You  _ must  _ know what you’re doing is wrong, Myra.”

Whatever she said in return was muffled, as if she had finally learned how to use her inside voice. 

No more than a couple minutes later, Eddie entered his son’s room. He gave Noah a big hug and kissed him goodbye for the week. “I’ll see you next weekend, Noah. I’ll miss you.” Eddie reminded him.

Noah waved goodbye from his bedroom floor. “Bye Daddy! Love you!”

Richie ruffled his hair, “See you later, squirt.”

Noah giggled, “Love you too, Poppy! Bye bye!”

  
  


The rest of the day was rather quiet for the two. Which in itself is very out of the ordinary. By the time the two were in bed, Eddie had enough of it. 

“Okay, that’s it. Spill. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

RIchie rubbed his eyes and turned towards the smaller man. “Uh, I’m thinking that I’m exhausted. Like emotionally, physically, all of it.”

Eddie huffed. “I know what you mean. I just can’t believe that she was doing that to him. He’s such a sweet, well behaved kid, why would she want to hurt him like that?”

“Babe, she’s like a carbon copy of your mother. You should know why she would do that better than anyone.”

“Don’t say that, that’s not fucking funny.” Eddie scowled.

Richie sat up and twisted more towards his husband. “I’m not joking. Listen, I know I’m not like, Noah’s dad or anything,--”

“Richie,” Eddie tried to interupt.

He held up his hands, “No, I’m not. Not where it counts, not legally. So I feel, like it’s not my place to say this, but fuck man, I’ve got it.” Richie took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes again. “I watched you grow up. I know what that situation was like. I  _ cannot  _ watch Noah go through that. Not when I can actually do something about it.”

Eddie swallowed thickly. There was a pregnant pause and Richie layed back down, facing away from his husband. “I won’t let that happen.” He whispers behind the comedian's neck. 

There was so much that he wanted to say.  _ It’s already happened.You didn’t see him shaking. He’s fucking three years old, he shouldn’t know fear like that! _

Instead he settled on, “We both won’t.”

Eddie wrapped an arm around his husband’s waist and pressed a kiss to his neck. Again, there was a lull of silence, but this time it wasn’t tense and uncomfortable. 

“I’m going to fight for more time.”

  
  



End file.
